Temper tantrums are common among children under age 4. They are usually short lived. Temper tantrums are a problem when they continue.

You have probably heard of the "Terrible Twos". Children around this age are learning to be independent from mommy and daddy. It is a major step from infancy to childhood. The "twos" do not have to be terrible. A temper tantrum is an emotional outburst or acting out and may include screaming, kicking, hitting, crying or holding breath when the child does not get his way or desire. He is showing frustration. Since he is unable to fully express his frustration verbally and is not experienced enough with problem solving abilities, he throws a tantrum. Initial temper tantrums are normal childhood behavior; ongoing temper tantrums are a learned (inappropriate) behavior.

What you can do:

• It is best to try to offer a distraction if a tantrum is about to occur. If that does not work and a tantrum occurs it is best to ignore it. Children generally do not hurt themselves when they have tantrums, even if they throw themselves on the ground. By ignoring tantrums, you are letting your toddler know it is all right to express frustration but that does not mean she will get her way. If you give into a tantrum (bribing to stop, pay attention to, yelling back, spanking during the tantrum), this tells your toddle that throwing a tantrum will get her way and intensifies the situation even more. Do not reward tantrums and they will soon stop.
• Talk to your toddler about her anger. Reassure her that you love her but disapprove of the behavior.
• Choose your battles wisely. You cannot win every battle with your child. Be firm on the important ones and let your child win on the ones of less importance.
• Avoid setting the tantrum stage by letting your toddler make some independent choices with minor things. For example, "Do you want to brush your teeth before your bath or after your bath?" This avoids a "NO" answer and sets the stage for a more positive outcome.
• Recognize conditions that make a temper tantrum more likely to occur such as tiredness, hunger, being uncomfortable (heat, cold), or needing additional attention.
• Never shake your child as this could cause serious injury to him.

Contact your doctor if temper tantrums occur past age 4, you feel out of control with your child's temper tantrums, or you fear you may harm your child.

Contact Lake Area Pediatrics at
(936) 582-5620